How to Find a Therapist
Estimated Read Time: 10 minutes
Thinking about starting therapy but unsure where to begin?
This guide walks you through how to clarify what you’re looking for, navigate therapy directories, understand styles and credentials, and take those first steps with confidence. Whether you're brand new to therapy or returning after time away, you'll find thoughtful guidance on choosing a therapist who truly fits.
You deserve support that feels safe and right for you.
Starting therapy is a big step. For many people, it’s not just the logistics that feel overwhelming — it’s the emotional commitment of opening up to a stranger. It can be hard to acknowledge to yourself that you need help, or that something isn’t working anymore. Those are normal, human worries to have at the beginning. And you’re not alone in feeling them.
Did you know the average person waits 7 years from their first symptoms before reaching out for help, or in some cases, over a decade. (Wang et al., 2005) That’s a long time to carry things alone.
And nearly 35% of new clients end therapy after just one or two sessions, often before they’ve really had a chance to feel the benefits (Swift & Greenberg, 2012).
This isn’t because therapy doesn’t help—it’s a reflection of how hard it can be to take that first step, and to keep going with something unfamiliar. My hope is that by breaking this cycle, you give yourself the time and chances you deserve.
If you’re ready to explore therapy but aren’t sure where to start, this guide will walk you through what to consider and how to begin.
1) Know Your “Why” — Even If It’s Vague
You don’t need to have everything figured out before starting therapy, but it helps to reflect a bit on what’s bringing you in. Are you struggling with anxiety or stress? Are relationships in your life feeling more difficult than usual? Are you simply feeling “off”?
Think about what you’re hoping to get out of therapy. Some people have clear goals, like reducing panic attacks or working through a past trauma. Others just want to feel better or learn healthier coping skills. All of those are valid reasons to seek therapy.
If you’re feeling vague or unsure, that’s okay. You don’t need a perfect elevator pitch to get started. Before you start scrolling through therapist profiles, take a moment to reflect: Why therapy? Why now?
Has there been a recent experience or triggering event? Or have you been carrying something for a long time, and you’re simply exhausted from trying to manage it alone?
Knowing your “why” can help guide the process, but you don’t need to have it all figured out. In fact, one of the most common barriers to starting that I hear is, “I don’t know how to explain what’s wrong.”
That’s okay.
Words like anxiety, depression, boundaries, and self-care are everywhere in our culture now. While it’s great that these topics are more openly discussed, the language can start to feel watered down. You don’t have to walk into therapy with a diagnosis. You can simply say, “I’m worrying a lot throughout the day, and the constant overthinking is exhausting. It’s making it hard to be present in my life.”
That’s more than enough. In fact, most people who come to me say even less than that. It’s my job as a therapist to ask you the right questions to help you better pinpoint what's going on.
2) Think About Preferences — They Matter More Than You Think
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. While, in theory, any trained therapist could work with any client, the reality is that therapy is deeply relational. You need to feel okay with the person you're working with.
It’s completely valid to have preferences around:
- Cultural or racial background
- Gender
- Age
- Religious or spiritual beliefs
- LGBTQIA+ affirming care
These aren’t superficial filters — they can impact how safe and seen you feel in the therapy room. Finding someone who respects and understands your lived experience can help you feel more at ease and more likely to open up.
These preferences also come in handy later — most therapy directories let you filter for these things, which helps you find someone who meets your needs.
3) Where to Search: Therapy Directories and Beyond
There are many therapy director ies that help connect clients with providers. Each one has a slightly different focus or “specialty,” but they generally work the same way: you enter your location, needs, and preferences, and it shows you therapists who match those filters.
You can also try Googling “therapist near me” — it’s a common starting point and may help identify local practices. But not every therapist has a Google Business Profile, so that approach won’t necessarily show all the options in your area.
The good news is that with telehealth, your therapist doesn’t need to be located nearby. In fact, some people specifically prefer to avoid someone local because they don’t want to run into their therapist at the grocery store or around town. That’s where directories like Alma, Mental Health Match, and the PSYPACT provider directory are especially useful, as they allow you to search beyond your immediate city or even state.
Some of the most widely used directories include:
- Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/
- Alma: https://www.helloalma.com/
- Therapy Den: https://www.therapyden.com/
- PSYPACT Provider Directory: https://psypact.site-ym.com/page/psypactmap
- Mental Health Match: https://mentalhealthmatch.com/
- Open Path Collective: https://openpathcollective.org/
(Note: I’m listed on a few of these, but I receive no compensation or kickback from mentioning them. I just think they’re useful tools.)
Each directory works slightly differently, but most allow you to set filters based on what you’re looking for. It’s worth checking a few of them, as not every therapist is listed on every site. Alternatively, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s totally okay to stick with just one.
If you're using insurance, you can usually log into your insurance provider’s client portal and find a section like “Find Care” or “Provider Directory.” From there, filter by Behavioral Health and narrow your search by specialty, demographic, and preferences, just like the directories above.
And don’t forget about word-of-mouth referrals. Friends, family, or even primary care doctors might know someone they recommend. Just be mindful of multiple relationships: for example, if your partner already sees a particular therapist, it’s usually best for you to see someone else to avoid ethical conflicts. In small towns or rural areas where this can’t always be avoided, just be open with potential therapists and they’ll help you navigate it.
4) Understanding Therapy Styles and Specialties
You’ll probably see a lot of clinical language like CBT, EMDR, ACT, or “trauma-informed.” Some of these terms might be familiar; others might not mean much at all. That’s okay.
There’s no expectation that you should know what these are unless you already have a specific request. If something stands out to you, feel free to do a little research, but you don’t need to come in with a plan. Most clients I work with don’t know what type of therapy they want. They just know they want things like coping skills, and I choose approaches that best fit those needs.
It’s important to note that not every therapist treats every concern. Just like when you go to the doctor, some specialize in allergies, others in orthopedics, etc., different therapists have different specialties, so you want to find someone who lists specialties that seem in line with your needs.
When reviewing therapist bios, websites, or social media, look for language that feels like it "gets you." That intuitive sense of alignment is important.
Credentials matter too, though if you’ve ever found the alphabet soup of degrees confusing, you’re not alone. (I plan to write a future post that breaks down common therapist credentials.)
5) Get a Feel for the Therapist’s Vibe
Credentials matter, but so does the feel of a therapist. Do they come across as warm? Clear? Grounded? More structured? More flexible?
There’s no single “right” personality, but you want someone who feels like they could be a steady presence in your life. Read through their bio, website, or blog. Notice how you feel while reading it. That reaction can be just as important as their degrees.
Look for someone who uses evidence-based approaches but still feels human and approachable.
6) The Consultation Is a Mutual Interview
Most therapists offer a free 15–20 minute consultation. This is your opportunity to get a sense of how they work — but more importantly, to see if they feel like a good fit for you.
You don’t have to commit to an intake right away. It’s perfectly okay to do consultations with a few different therapists before making a decision.
Remember: You’re interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing you.
You can ask about things like:
- Their experience with your concerns
- What a typical session looks like
- Their availability and fees
- Whether they take your insurance
- How they’d approach your goals
If you're feeling stuck and don't know what to ask, that’s okay. Most therapists will guide the conversation and help you clarify what you’re looking for. You don’t have to come up with a perfect list of questions. It’s okay to just have a conversation.
The therapist may also ask you a few questions to see if they feel confident in helping you. If they say they’re not the best fit, it can feel discouraging, but ultimately, it’s a gift to find someone who’s honest about their ability to help you. If they say they’re not the right provider for you, it’s not personal; it just means they want you to get the best care possible. You want someone who can meet you where you are and walk alongside you.
In fact, studies have shown that the therapeutic relationship is the strongest predictor of therapy success, even more than the type of therapy used. One large review found that the quality of the therapist-client relationship accounts for up to 30% of treatment outcomes (Norcross & Lambert, 2019).
7) Give It Time — But Trust Your Gut
I usually tell people to give therapy at least four sessions (the intake session plus three follow-ups) before deciding how they feel about the process. It can take time to open up and feel comfortable. Your therapist is getting to know you too, and that takes some time.
That said, trust your gut. If something feels off, notice that. If you feel safe bringing that concern into the therapy space, even better. You and your therapist can talk about it and figure out what’s happening. If not, it’s okay to let them know it isn’t the right fit and move on. The right therapist will respect your decision.
In Summary
Starting therapy can bring up a lot of questions — and that’s completely normal. The most important thing is that you don’t need to have it all figured out before you begin. Knowing your preferences, exploring your options, and allowing yourself to consult with a few therapists can help you find a provider who truly aligns with your needs. Whether this is your first time seeking therapy or a return after a break, you deserve care that feels like a good fit.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Seeking therapy is an act of courage and an act of self-respect. It means you’re taking your well-being seriously and investing in yourself, and that’s something to be proud of. You don’t have to be in crisis to ask for help. You just have to be ready to take that first step.
If you’re looking for a therapist and this post resonated with you, I currently have immediate openings for individual therapy. You can learn more about how I work on my website or reach out to schedule a consultation.
You deserve to feel seen and supported. You are not alone in whatever you're carrying.
Disclaimer:
The content on this blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice. For personalized care, please consult a licensed therapist or healthcare provider. For more details, please read our full Blog Disclaimer.
References:
Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2019). Psychotherapy relationships that work (3rd ed.). Oxford University Press.
Swift, J. K., & Greenberg, R. P. (2012). Premature discontinuation in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 80(4), 547–559. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028226
Wang, P. S., Berglund, P. A., Olfson, M., Pincus, H. A., Wells, K. B., & Kessler, R. C. (2005). Failure and delay in initial treatment contact after first onset of mental disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Archives of General Psychiatry, 62(6), 603–613. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.62.6.603
